november 5 etc
I've written a blog post every weekday since August 11 and I always knew today would come. Today is the day I write something I'm not even sure is good or useful and then log off and go to sleep because I'm exhausted both physically and emotionally. It's not a good exhausted, either. I didn't accomplish something after putting my back or my shoulder into it and I didn't work through a twisty, thorny problem until it was done. I just woke up, did a few things, watched a little hoop, had dinner, watched a little more hoop, showered, and then, feeling wildly defeated, I got in bed to write this post.
As much as I am occasionally frustrated by aging and am wont to point out all the things that aging prevents me from doing, seeing, or being, I have made peace with getting older. Yeah I've lost a step and my memory fails me from time to time, but like many before me, I find myself enjoying the trade-offs. Like, sure, there's more grey in my hair than there used to be and sure, if I eat the wrong thing I am out of sorts for days, but on the whole I'm at peace more often than not. Things that used to bother me a lot barely register now, and when I wake up in the morning I no longer seek to seize the day and bend the world to my will as much as I look forward to seeing my partner, having that first sip of that first coffee of the day, and checking on the exploits of my fantasy basketball teams.
And with that, he left.
🌲 gonna
🌼 go
🌱 touch
🌳 grass
🌷 now
Be good to yourself.
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