may 28 bcc
Okay, so, the worst thing that has happened to me all year happened today. We are not smiles times over here. I'm not going to talk/write about it yet but rest assured it has nothing to do with my health or anyone else's health.
Anyway, after the thing, I wasn't good for a few hours. For a few minutes within those hours, I was literally shaking with rage and, I'm ashamed to say, thinking some vengeful thoughts. I was upset. I felt wronged. Thing is, it was also very nice outside. And my partner looked lovely. And I didn't want to be a whiny bitch about something I couldn't change and wasn't going to figure out today. Eventually, I got on a group FaceTime with some folks and talked an otherworldly amount of shit and felt better. Or at least lighter.
To be clear, the situation is kinda fucked and very stupid. I am/we are not smiles times. But, like, that's life.
Besides, I decided I shouldn't get too vexed considering that yesterday, I told a despondent stranger that
the things that help me manage (aside from there’s no other choice) are the same things that nourish me generally, i.e. friends, passions, hobbies, art, music, nature, whatever*
but that’s not particularly novel, so maybe leaning into “there’s no point” is the move
have the despair days, sure, but also allow yourself the “who fucking cares?” days, i.e. pay for the guac, upgrade to business class, get the weird haircut, sit for the dumb tattoo, ask out your crush, let go of a grudge, whatever
Here's the link should you wish to see the post(s) in context.
And with that, he left.
🌲 gonna
🌼 go
🌱 touch Advil PM
🌳 grass tf
🌷 now out
Be good to yourself.
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