may 26 mgk
So obviously I was going through it yesterday, but, despite appearances, I was also going through it today. It was a different going through it. A calmer going through it. A more bemused going through it. At times it was even a laugh-so-you-don't cry kind of going through it. Things in this timeline are truly absurd, but they got to this degree of absurd relatively recently. The darkness of this timeline, well, that's been going on for a hell of a long time. And the thing about that kind of darkness, the kind of darkness that is endlessly persuasive while not sexy, smart, or likeable, that it infects people. Little by little
by little
by little
and then all at once.
And if you're too infected too young, sorry chief, there's no coming back from that. People say there is, but there isn't. We say there is redemption for everyone, but we all know that there are people beyond redemption, and, unfortunately, this current timeline seems to quite adept at making them.
I used to think that if you quit smoking early enough, everything got better. Like, all the parts of you that you destroyed could, in theory, heal. That isn't actually true. This isn't to say you shouldn't quit smoking. You absolutely should. But, also, while cilia can grow back and lung function can improve after you quit smoking, alveoli don't. And because alveoli don't/can't grow back, a lot of the damage a smoker does to himself over the course of his smoking years is permanent.
What I'm saying is that if too many of your moral alveoli get nuked too early, and, as a result, you come up in a way that makes you one of these now-internet-famous sociopath types at too young an age and that ooze gets too close to your main board too long before you have the chance to mature, you're completely and totally fucked. Because what you have to surmount to come back is just so, so high and so, so wide, and broad, and deep at that point. You have to destroy big pieces of yourself to get around it, or over it, or through it, or whatever. You have to do a controlled demolition and practice some kind of complicated atonement to beat it. And based on what I've seen of the human condition (at least in my part of the world, by which I mean Canada, North America, and online), most people simply don't have the fortitude, strength, will, or drive. They just don't. We're not making them like we used to. We're making something else now. Is it an evolution? No. But it's not a devolution either. It's a gross adaptation. It's being awful because you know the world is awful. It's not caring about anyone or anything but yourself because solipsism got normalized
and then mass produced
and then mass distributed
because those guys are fuckin' everywhere now.
Yes, I'm fine. Really and truly. Sometimes a mf just gotta emote, you know?
🌲 gonna
🌼 go
🌱 touch sleb
🌳 grass slep
🌷 now Schubert
Be good to yourself.
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