may 12 bdl
Another mixed bag. Terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day at work. Lately I have felt like the unwitting victim on a prank show, except the show is always on and the the prank is always the same. I ask a question, get no answers, and yeah. That's it. That's the whole thing.
But, also, I walked in the rain and it was soothing. I felt my skin breathe. I had an umbrella but I didn't open it. I wanted to wash the day off. I invited contact.
Aside from that, there were a ton of hoops-related things on the front burner today aside from the great MIN/SAS playoff game and the 3x WNBA games, one of which I am currently watching PIP.
Specifically:
🏀 Seven years ago, on May 12, 2019, Kawhi Leonard hit the shot. A month later, the Toronto Raptors were NBA champions. A few weeks after that my life fell apart. Rebuilding it brought me to this moment, right now, and I couldn't be more grateful.
🏀 Brandon Clarke died of a suspected overdose. Dude had a ton of injuries, which may have led to self-medication, which may have led to an accidental end. So young, such a shame. But, also, a reminder for all of us to check on our friends. We all know people who are struggling with addiction, or sadness, or guilt, and we collectively ought to to do a better job at supporting those people.
🏀 Jason Collins, who made headlines in 2013 by outing himself and becoming the NBA's first openly gay player, also died today. He was 47, and had Stage 4 glioblastoma. "As an athlete you learn not to panic in moments like this," he told ESPN in November. "These are the cards I've been dealt. To me it's like, 'Shut up and go play against Shaq.' You want the challenge? This is the challenge. And there is no bigger challenge in basketball than going up against prime Shaquille O'Neal, and I've done that." I'm currently the age Collins died at. Within a month I will be 48. Sometimes I wonder if I have done enough, seen enough, or been enough. Like, if I died tomorrow, and I knew I was going to die tomorrow, would I spend the last day wondering if I had lived as well as I could have? Or would I be regretting things I did or didn't do. I was a sad, insular kid, so I have thought about this off and on for my entire life. And, in this moment, this one right now, I think that I would have very few regrets. My friend DL once praised me for how fearlessly I loved, and in that moment I think I made some dumb, self-effacing joke, but I really do think that if you can be strong and bold about the things and people you love, you'll never rue any days.
Anyway, ball is life and whatnot.
🌲 gonna
🌼 go
🌱 touch to
🌳 grass bed
🌷 now earlyish
Be good to yourself.
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