january 9 dnr
I used to write my daily post earlier in the day, or at least over the course of the day. Then I started a new job and that changed things. And then we had to drop everything and we had to fly across the country and so I started posting before I went to bed, Pacific time. And then we came back to Toronto and it stayed just before bed. And then we flew back to Victoria for Christmas and it was still just before bed. Then we came back to Toronto, and, you guessed it: just before bed.
That paragraph was written like ten hours ago. Now it is later, just before bed ——
He said it! He said the name of the movie in the movie!
—— and I am finishing this thing up as has become my wont.
It's been a hard week. For a lot of reasons. I haven't been sleeping and my anxiety has been off the charts. Is it the season? Maybe. Is it the the unrelenting torrent of psychological warfare being enacted on every human with an internet-connected media device (or, like, eyes) at all times of the day every day without fail or mercy? Also maybe.
But, like, for real real we are drooooowwwwwnnning in media. We scroll. We doomscroll. Then we hit a crack pipe filled with brainrot (and I mean that in a good way) to forget the central horrible truth of reality which is that the worst, ugliest, most fundamentally evil people have all the power and the money and the influence and because they are the worst people they delight in only one thing: bringing that power and money and influence to bear by systematically choking us... right to the edge of death... then letting go for long enough that we come to before choking us right to the edge of death et cetera ad infinitum.
Yeah guy, it got despondent for a while there.
But then there was a hot shower. And then there were burritos and very good hot sauce. And some two buck edibles. And my dumb Marimekko robe and some big dumb grey socks. Reader I walked out of the still soundless void that the bad news media onslaught becomes after a while as if I were breaking the fourth wall and I sat on my awesome couch with my awesome partner and we scrolled League Pass and yelled at the TV and then we talked vaguely and warmly about what a joy and privilege it is to grow older alongside a person you are endlessly delighted by and then everything got really slow and sepia toned and it felt like discovering fire.
T
G
I
F
🌲 gonna
🌼 go
🌱 touch
🌳 grass sleep
🌷 now
Be good to yourself.
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