february 4 yul
When I have nothing left to offer I feel ashamed and I hide. Today I had nothing left so I hid, first in taxonomy when I reorganized one of my hard drives and later in basketball, because ball is life and the NBA cannot go one day without being messy and dramatic (and I love it). Weirdly, I didn't listen to any music today. I should have, but I didn't. Let's do that part together.
On y va!
🎵🎵 Whenever I hear this song I think about being young and vaguely carcinogenic and sexy and fucked up and alive and if I close my eyes real tight I can hear our voices, brash and hoarse, ordering vodka sodas from punk rock babes who broke hearts by the dozen and stirred drinks with their fingers. I think about sweaty nights on dirty Montreal dancefloors and the sloppy makeout sessions and questionable hookups that followed and to this day I don't know if any of it actually happened but I can definitely show you the scars. To be young is to feel invincible, to feel like time will never come for you. I don't miss it. I drank it all when I had the chance. I hope you did too. It doesn't taste the same when you're older.
🎵🎵 When I hear this song I'm youngish or young adjacent and I'm seeing CYHSY in a smallish club in Brooklyn. It is the the summer of 2011 and I am housesitting for a buddy in Morningside Heights. I was supposed to be writing a book, too, but instead I was gallivanting. I remember watching Dan Mangan standing atop a wooden stool a week before the CYHSY show (or was it a week after?). I think he was playing his cover of Elliott Smith's "Between The Bars." A few years later Dan was in Toronto playing on a CMW showcase. I texted him and asked him to play his cover of Smith's "Waltz #2" during his encore and he did.
🎵🎵 This song is horny as fuck because 99% of Dua Saleh songs are horny as fuck. Don't say I didn't warn you.
🎵🎵 Sometimes I use this Beach House song to reset my soul when I feel fucked up but also before I go to sleep as a lullaby, kind of. In fact, I'm going to do that right now.
🌲 gonna
🌼 go
🌱 touch
🌳 grass pillow
🌷 now
Be good to yourself.
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