february 27 ppv
It's Friday night and I'm awake and she's asleep and in this moment I completely get the all men lead lives of quiet desperation thing because I yearn to have the window open at night because I run hot but she needs it closed because she is not insane. I'm sitting up in bed typing this post but metaphorically I'm Wolverine on the bed caressing a photo of an open window.
Cohabitating with a partner is funny. I swore I'd never do it again after a bad breakup in 2019 but since late 2023 I have shared a small loft with someone approximately my size and the experience has plugged holes in my soul that I didn't know were there. I didn't just figure out that I enjoy seeing my partner all the time. The soul hole filling feeling is rooted something bigger and somehow simpler.
The Tragically Hip have a song called "Looking For a Place to Happen". When I heard that song and read those lyrics as a teenager, I had a vague notion of a future that would involve all kinds of accomplishments, and somewhere in those accomplishments I would find my place and I would happen. Today I know that teenaged me got it wrong. The place where you happen isn't a place you find by searching. It's a place you eventually realize you found and happened at way, way after the fact.
I know I've been all over the place lately. Please don't flood my basement and rust my Bowflex.
🌲 gonna
🌼 go
🌱 touch nonny
🌳 grass nonny
🌷 nonny
Be good to yourself.
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