august 3 lmk
It's a fake holiday in Ontario, so we went outside with no real plans because outside is where the things and the people are. Yes, there are also people and things inside, but not as many as there are outside. Today is a quantity play. Ideally, my days include both quality and quantity but sometimes I just want to be overwhelmed by the world. Do you ever get like this? Do you ever yearn to be obliterated by options and dazzled by choice? When you end up people watching, is it because you went outside with that express intent or is it something that just sort of happens because you're tired, or it's raining, or whatever else? I wonder about this sometimes. I wonder if people go out to people watch or is it a recumbent, reflexive, secondary kind of thing?
I used to think that thinking about things like this made me odd, then I grew up and realized that everyone is pretty odd even if most people in my experience do not allow themselves time and space to get deep into their oddity. I was one of those people for a long while, to be honest. I was ashamed of the things I liked and wanted, and felt as though I had to silently deride my interests, passions, or hobbies because they didn't pass muster or meet code. I used be and do a lot of things.
Thankfully, it has also been my experience that a lot of things melt or otherwise drop away over the years. In a lot of ways I am the exact person I wanted to be when I was 17, and I think that's because I always kept a little flame going. Privately, at first, but then largely, outwardly. It's a strange thing to meet yourself for the first time
🌲 gonna
🌼 go
🌱 touch reread
🌳 grass The End of Reading is Here
🌷 now
Be good to yourself.
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